Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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