Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Someone came in the potted fern
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Oh god it's open bar.
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