I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
