A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
