quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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