This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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