he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
