can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
