Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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