how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
