he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
