Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There's always time for handjobs
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
