Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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