She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We left the knife in your bed.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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