Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize