Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
