brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
