did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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