Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
