Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
