so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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