I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
