yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
