Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
