Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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