1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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