Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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