don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
