Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
