i think i have herpe
just one?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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