Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
