i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
