Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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