Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
