There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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