You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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