Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
