5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
