Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
