Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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