You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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