Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
