dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
