Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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