He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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