I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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