Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
