People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
