All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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