how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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