I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
