The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
