Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
