Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
