brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
