so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
