Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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