GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
