Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize