So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
