dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
