He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
a search helicopter?!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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