i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
