FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
