i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
