I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize