I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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