at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
