last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
