I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
