Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize