remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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