may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
