I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
where are you?
Hypothermia
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
did you just send me my own nude
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
