atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
