I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
