I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
